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Broken Hearted Runner

This blog began as a way of dealing with and communicating about my diagnosis of cardiomyopathy (literal heart disease) and has continued on through all of my figurative heartbreak after divorce, dating, life, and now grief. I am a seeker of adventure who also desires the comfort of routine. I am an avid hiker, a lazy runner, a mother of three adult children, a dog lover, a writer, and an unfortunate romantic. Each of these things are found within the stories of my blog.

Romance

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By Unknown - September 04, 2015

Romance
A wild dance
Between two lovers who, by chance,
Share an equal desire after a first glance.

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Hello Old Friend

By E. Sarah Mattingly - March 19, 2023

Hello old friend, we meet again. If you're new here - this blog has been my place to openly grieve over the past decade. So, I guess it makes since to come back to it now since my good ole friend "grief" has reared his ugly head once again. It's difficult (and ironic) because many of the words written here explicitly describe MY side of the pain. And now, as I reflect on this newest grieving moment, I want to talk about the other side. (I know - too little, too late .) I want to start with a disclaimer - if anyone who falls upon this blog is ever experiencing feelings of hopelessness, please reach out. This is my personal email and I will personally reply to any/all of your messages. Add me to your contacts. I. Am. Here. Now - a story... I remember 2004 as being a very difficult year in my life. I was a 26 year old wife and mother of three living in a small 2 bedroom house. I was bartending for a living and taking college classes. Earlier that year, my hu...

The Year of the Snake (and shedding off all that doesn't serve you)

By E. Sarah Mattingly - December 31, 2025

A year ago, when thinking about my upcoming 2025 new year’s resolutions, I focused on the 3 main areas of my life: My relationship with God My connection with my family My overall health This became three very specific resolutions: Read the bible from beginning to end and dedicate time to pray every morning and evening Initiate quality alone time with my husband and children Go to the gym on average 5 times a week and drink less The results? I didn’t finish reading the bible yet, but I made a VERY big dent in it. I was dedicated to listening to the bible on my long commute to the office, and for 279 out of 365 days, I listened and I learned. I prayed a lot... Actually way more than what I intended. Challenges came into my life that I couldn’t have predicted. My daily morning and evening prayer rituals couldn’t sustain the stress and indecision I was facing. Some days felt like a constant conversation with God (a very one sided cry for help, but a conversation nonetheless)....

A New Chapter - Another Adventure

By E. Sarah Mattingly - October 21, 2016

Twelve weeks ago, I was in Virginia for my daughter's softball tournament really enjoying myself when I started having serious doubts about my living situation. In February, the idea of moving to Charlotte for a job seemed like the obvious thing to do after being unemployed for eight months. But now what? Other than my aunt, uncle and two cousins, I don't have any family in Charlotte. I only have one co-worker that I see a handful of times a month. All of the people I love live in Maryland and Virginia. All of the people my children want to spend time with are in Maryland and Virginia. Charlotte just seemed like a foreign place to us all. Feeling completely overwhelmed, I did what I had learned to do and have trained myself to do whenever I need answers. I poured myself a cup of hot tea, put on some light music, sat in the middle of the room in a comfortable position, closed my eyes, and started praying. In the many times over the previous year that I had attempted this m...