A New Chapter - Another Adventure
Twelve weeks ago, I was in Virginia for my daughter's softball tournament really enjoying myself when I started having serious doubts about my living situation.
In February, the idea of moving to Charlotte for a job seemed like the obvious thing to do after being unemployed for eight months. But now what? Other than my aunt, uncle and two cousins, I don't have any family in Charlotte. I only have one co-worker that I see a handful of times a month. All of the people I love live in Maryland and Virginia. All of the people my children want to spend time with are in Maryland and Virginia. Charlotte just seemed like a foreign place to us all.
Feeling completely overwhelmed, I did what I had learned to do and have trained myself to do whenever I need answers. I poured myself a cup of hot tea, put on some light music, sat in the middle of the room in a comfortable position, closed my eyes, and started praying.
In the many times over the previous year that I had attempted this meditation, I always left feeling better - comforted somehow, but never once did I ever receive any clear answer (which was what I was always seeking - 'Please guide me. Tell me what to do.')
However, this time, while I didn't hear a voice telling me exactly what steps to take for my future, I did have a vision. A vision of roots. I kept getting this feeling that I needed to plant my feet firmly and let the earth grow over them. I left my meditation with the sense that God was telling me that I needed to create a home for my children. A forever home. No. More. Moving.
So, on the long seven hour drive home, I asked both of my daughters, "If we could live anywhere that we've already lived, where would you pick?" I was certain that they'd both pick different places as Ceci's best friend lives in Gaithersburg and Eve's life (softball, friends, mentor) existed in Ashburn. However, without a pause, both girls responded, "Ashburn!"
I was so surprised. It is where my heart wanted to be also. I had help in Ashburn. The girls had people they were comfortable with. There was a great school. It was safe. It was only a two hour drive from my family.
I immediately started the process of trying to get my company to allow me to relocate back up to Ashburn, working remote and reporting to a DC office. It made sense. It could actually work. And Eve would have her softball team, and Ceci and I wouldn't have to change our driver's licenses, and they would have their school of choice, and all of their friends and step brother. It all just seemed right.
However, my company didn't agree. After two weeks of yeses then nos and talk about "setting a precedent," I was told that my job was where it was and the option to go "home" had vanished.
We were all disappointed. Out of anger my daughters made threats, "I'm not going to try out for teams. I'm quitting softball!" "I'm never coming back to Charlotte. I'm moving in with a friend in Ashburn!" They made their threats while I started trying to figure out what to do next.
Roots. That was the answer I'd received in prayer.
Settle down somewhere for good. That is something I've never had.
A home. That is what we needed.
I started by looking at Zillow. I alternated between looking at rentals and properties for sale. I wondered, could I even buy a house? I'd been married twice, but never been in a financial situation where we could afford a down payment. Out of curiosity, I called a lender. I divulged all of my financial history, discussed with him the amount of money I could come up with, and found myself pre-approved for a home mortgage.
It was a powerful but scary feeling. Me? Buy a home? But what could I really afford? My pre-approval wouldn't even buy a two bedroom condo in Ashburn. What if I did buy something, and then a year later something breaks? I'll be responsible for fixing it. Living in an apartment complex had spoiled me. If something broke, I just called the office. It was easy. What would I be getting into with home ownership?
All of those worries, plus many others flowed in and out of my mind over the next ten weeks, as I started my home buying adventure. I made two different offers on two different homes only to lose in a bidding war. Then, after finding a home (a project) that I could envision my family living in and getting that house under contract, I continued to doubt my decision right up to the day before I (was supposed) to close. It seemed like anything that could happen to doubt my decision did happen.
The lender changed the amount that was due at closing, causing me to have to borrow (more) money. The inspection proved that the house had some electrical issues that needed to be fixed. And the day before I (was supposed) to close, I found out that my general contractor was unlicensed, causing me to have to find someone else to complete all of the work to make my new home safe and live-able.
I cried more times in this short period of time than I did the entire time I was unemployed. But my mother and my two best friends continued to remind me, "You are making the right decision. This is going to work out."
And they were right. It happened. The girls and I got the keys to the house last Friday. We moved in on Saturday (paying daily rent to the owners until we closed). We are currently living without furniture and with the smallest mini fridge that Target sells. We will be doing that for a couple more weeks before it gets even more invasive and the ceilings get scraped, the carpet comes up, the walls come down, the appliances, counters, and counter tops all come in. Then the rebuild begins.
We're doing all of our own painting, and after (finally) closing yesterday, we started with our bedrooms. As soon as the carpets are replaced in the bedrooms, we can finally assemble our beds, bring in our dressers and stop living out of boxes.
There is a refreshing feeling knowing that these boxes will be recycled. I will no longer have a need for these boxes again. I will never have to pack up all of my belongings, rent a truck, and move again.
Ahhhh... That really does feel good to type. There have been a lot of moves in my life. Over the past two years, there have been four for me and my girls. But I'm so happy to know and remember that those moves all got me closer to here. Here - the place I now call home. The place I will wake and sleep and come back to for a very long time. The place my son and my parents will visit for Thanksgiving and my children will come back to well after they leave.
I can honestly say that I never saw this happening for me. I never saw myself settling down anywhere. I thought I was destined to be a vagabond and would send my children and grandchildren plane tickets to visit me where ever I was for the holidays. But for the first time, I can say that travel doesn't seem so important to me right this second. Building a home does.
And now, let me introduce you to my current favorite place in my home. This is my back porch, my yoga studio, my meditation spot, my writing location, my peaceful place. And yes... that is my yard - which currently I love, but after I have to start mowing it, I'll probably have different things to say.
I am so blessed. I am so filled with joy and thankfulness and I don't need a holiday to express it. But it will be icing on my cake to have my family together to celebrate our first of many holidays in my new home.
In February, the idea of moving to Charlotte for a job seemed like the obvious thing to do after being unemployed for eight months. But now what? Other than my aunt, uncle and two cousins, I don't have any family in Charlotte. I only have one co-worker that I see a handful of times a month. All of the people I love live in Maryland and Virginia. All of the people my children want to spend time with are in Maryland and Virginia. Charlotte just seemed like a foreign place to us all.
Feeling completely overwhelmed, I did what I had learned to do and have trained myself to do whenever I need answers. I poured myself a cup of hot tea, put on some light music, sat in the middle of the room in a comfortable position, closed my eyes, and started praying.
In the many times over the previous year that I had attempted this meditation, I always left feeling better - comforted somehow, but never once did I ever receive any clear answer (which was what I was always seeking - 'Please guide me. Tell me what to do.')
However, this time, while I didn't hear a voice telling me exactly what steps to take for my future, I did have a vision. A vision of roots. I kept getting this feeling that I needed to plant my feet firmly and let the earth grow over them. I left my meditation with the sense that God was telling me that I needed to create a home for my children. A forever home. No. More. Moving.
So, on the long seven hour drive home, I asked both of my daughters, "If we could live anywhere that we've already lived, where would you pick?" I was certain that they'd both pick different places as Ceci's best friend lives in Gaithersburg and Eve's life (softball, friends, mentor) existed in Ashburn. However, without a pause, both girls responded, "Ashburn!"
I was so surprised. It is where my heart wanted to be also. I had help in Ashburn. The girls had people they were comfortable with. There was a great school. It was safe. It was only a two hour drive from my family.
I immediately started the process of trying to get my company to allow me to relocate back up to Ashburn, working remote and reporting to a DC office. It made sense. It could actually work. And Eve would have her softball team, and Ceci and I wouldn't have to change our driver's licenses, and they would have their school of choice, and all of their friends and step brother. It all just seemed right.
However, my company didn't agree. After two weeks of yeses then nos and talk about "setting a precedent," I was told that my job was where it was and the option to go "home" had vanished.
We were all disappointed. Out of anger my daughters made threats, "I'm not going to try out for teams. I'm quitting softball!" "I'm never coming back to Charlotte. I'm moving in with a friend in Ashburn!" They made their threats while I started trying to figure out what to do next.
Roots. That was the answer I'd received in prayer.
Settle down somewhere for good. That is something I've never had.
A home. That is what we needed.
I started by looking at Zillow. I alternated between looking at rentals and properties for sale. I wondered, could I even buy a house? I'd been married twice, but never been in a financial situation where we could afford a down payment. Out of curiosity, I called a lender. I divulged all of my financial history, discussed with him the amount of money I could come up with, and found myself pre-approved for a home mortgage.
It was a powerful but scary feeling. Me? Buy a home? But what could I really afford? My pre-approval wouldn't even buy a two bedroom condo in Ashburn. What if I did buy something, and then a year later something breaks? I'll be responsible for fixing it. Living in an apartment complex had spoiled me. If something broke, I just called the office. It was easy. What would I be getting into with home ownership?
All of those worries, plus many others flowed in and out of my mind over the next ten weeks, as I started my home buying adventure. I made two different offers on two different homes only to lose in a bidding war. Then, after finding a home (a project) that I could envision my family living in and getting that house under contract, I continued to doubt my decision right up to the day before I (was supposed) to close. It seemed like anything that could happen to doubt my decision did happen.
The lender changed the amount that was due at closing, causing me to have to borrow (more) money. The inspection proved that the house had some electrical issues that needed to be fixed. And the day before I (was supposed) to close, I found out that my general contractor was unlicensed, causing me to have to find someone else to complete all of the work to make my new home safe and live-able.
I cried more times in this short period of time than I did the entire time I was unemployed. But my mother and my two best friends continued to remind me, "You are making the right decision. This is going to work out."
And they were right. It happened. The girls and I got the keys to the house last Friday. We moved in on Saturday (paying daily rent to the owners until we closed). We are currently living without furniture and with the smallest mini fridge that Target sells. We will be doing that for a couple more weeks before it gets even more invasive and the ceilings get scraped, the carpet comes up, the walls come down, the appliances, counters, and counter tops all come in. Then the rebuild begins.
We're doing all of our own painting, and after (finally) closing yesterday, we started with our bedrooms. As soon as the carpets are replaced in the bedrooms, we can finally assemble our beds, bring in our dressers and stop living out of boxes.
There is a refreshing feeling knowing that these boxes will be recycled. I will no longer have a need for these boxes again. I will never have to pack up all of my belongings, rent a truck, and move again.
Ahhhh... That really does feel good to type. There have been a lot of moves in my life. Over the past two years, there have been four for me and my girls. But I'm so happy to know and remember that those moves all got me closer to here. Here - the place I now call home. The place I will wake and sleep and come back to for a very long time. The place my son and my parents will visit for Thanksgiving and my children will come back to well after they leave.
I can honestly say that I never saw this happening for me. I never saw myself settling down anywhere. I thought I was destined to be a vagabond and would send my children and grandchildren plane tickets to visit me where ever I was for the holidays. But for the first time, I can say that travel doesn't seem so important to me right this second. Building a home does.
And now, let me introduce you to my current favorite place in my home. This is my back porch, my yoga studio, my meditation spot, my writing location, my peaceful place. And yes... that is my yard - which currently I love, but after I have to start mowing it, I'll probably have different things to say.
But the story doesn't end here. I'm happy to announce that Eve did try out for a softball team. She's been practicing four times a week and we head out tomorrow for our first tournament. Ceci is looking for a job and has made a few good friends that she hangs out with after school. Life has moved on and we are here together. Barring any unforeseen issues, our demolition begins next week and our renovation project should be completed by my favorite holiday - Thanksgiving. I will be hosting in my new home with fresh paint, new furniture, and the love of a lot of the people who have helped me to get where I am today.
I am so blessed. I am so filled with joy and thankfulness and I don't need a holiday to express it. But it will be icing on my cake to have my family together to celebrate our first of many holidays in my new home.
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