Broken Hearted Runner

The year 2015 set the stage for 2016 to be a wonderful year. Is that because 2015 was a crappy year? Maybe. I mean, when you're at rock bottom, you can only go up, right? But that isn't what I meant. Sure, things happened in 2015 that took my life off course, but those things challenged me and made me start to think about what I really wanted out of life. And not only what I wanted, but how was I going to get it? Because of those things that transpired in 2015, by the beginning of the new year, I was going through a divorce and living in a two bedroom apartment with my two girls and our dog. As the only breadwinner, I was waiting tables and doing some marketing consulting work while desperately trying to get a new full time job (with benefits) to support my family. However, the few interviews I landed ended with rejection as soon as they learned that I didn't have a degree. I had started to doubt most of my past decisions and feel unsure about everything in my future.

Stillmeadow. This is the name of the street where I live. This is where I bought my new home. It wasn't the first home I looked at on this street either. The first one was the one that lit the fire in my heart - the one that helped me to know that this street was where I belonged.  So 2 weeks after I lost the bid on the first house on Stillmeadow, right around the time when I was about to give up buying a house (I literally did a credit check on a rental house), I noticed another house on Stillmeadow. It popped up on my Zillow search at 8 pm on September 12 and at 10:45 on September 13, I was looking at the house. Later than night I signed my bid on what is now my new house.  It wasn't until I actually moved into the house and onto the street that the name of it started to give me comfort. Stillmeadow. Still. Be still. That is what I was feeling. Only a few months before, God had told me to let my roots grow - to focus on buying a home and settling down. And now, it al

Because it was important to me that I was the main caregiver for my children when they were young, and because their father and I were both young and not well paid, we made a lot of sacrifices. After I quit my job to be a stay at home mom, I continued to do odd jobs to bring in money. Mostly, I babysat the neighborhood kids ($10/day/kid) and waited tables. I also cleaned houses and tended bar. Basically, I would do anything to make some money in a way that meant I could still be a mom and a wife first. We lived in a two bedroom home which meant that the kids all shared a bedroom. After Eve was born, we had a crib and a set of bunk beds. The kids thought this was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to them. Logan, of course, got the top bunk. And Ceci was happy to have the bottom bunk as long as he'd let her come up and play castle in his bed during the day. But mostly, the crib was the place to be. They loved it! My children had absolutely no idea how poor we were