What is love? Baby don't hurt me. don't hurt me.... no more...
Everyday I receive the Verse of the Day from my bible app. One of the first things I do after I open my eyes and turn off my alarm is go to that indicator and check for the verse that would guide my heart today. And then later in the day, usually after I have walked the dog and made my coffee, I sit in the comfort of my spot on the couch and I read the entire chapter that surrounds the excerpt that was sent to my phone in the wee hours of the morning.
But what struck me that day wasn't that verse at all, but the verses that precede it. The beginning of this chapter has widened my eyes to something I've never noticed before in the bible, but am now overwhelmed by.
The point is made nonetheless.
We all know those people. The ones who speak the words from the bible so loudly that all you hear are words. The ones that seem to have everything you could ever want, the big house, the awesome job, the perfect family. The ones that appear to sacrifice their lives so much for the betterment of their family or their church. But what is it - what is any of it - without love?
Anyone can read the bible. Anyone can regurgitate the words that they were raised to believe. But if your intent does not come from a good and loving place - if you don't truly care for the person you are speaking to and attempting to guide - then how genuine are those words? No, they are dismissed (rightfully) as noise.
And what if you have everything that our society has deemed as important and good? No matter how hard you have worked for it - even if you stand in front of it and scream to the world that it all comes from God - it doesn't matter. Because what is the purpose of having those things if you are a slave to them? Do you know what the bible says and believe it with your heart? Do you have enough faith to remove mountains? Well, that is hard to believe if you can't share what you have with someone who needs it? Or give it all up and walk away from it all for love?
And what about giving it away? All of the things that you sacrifice. All of the time you have spent giving to others. If you keep a record of all of your good deeds, only to throw them in someone's face later - that is not a gift. That is not love. Those deeds were for you - a selfish attempt at following the rules. You will gain nothing from your good deeds if you are only to record them and use them later.
Someone recently told me, when speaking about someone who had wronged him, "She can justify all of her actions because she can stand behind them morally. She has never committed a sin. She has never broken a commandment."
Keeping the commandments - that is important. But let us not forget what Jesus says later.
I understand her perspective. I get it. I've lived it.
I understand that when you are in a relationship, you give, with hopes. Hopes that someone will give back what you have given them - you know, the golden rule.
One of my love languages is that I am a giver of service. I enjoy doing things for others. I find joy in keeping a clean house and making the person I love a cup of coffee and delivering it to him in bed. It comes from a good place and it gives me joy to do those things. I would never expect someone to do that for me in return. But if he did - if he was observant enough to pick up on how happy it makes me to have a tidy home or a morning cup of coffee, and chose to do those things for me, out of love - it would be such a significant gesture.
So that is my advice today. Be observant.
Because love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.
No. Love is observant. Love is looking for a way to grow. It is always being willing to learn about the other. Love is honest because love will forgive all wrongs and look for better ways to give.
And love is everlasting. It does not die. If it does - it was never love at all.
It was something else.
It was a convenience or a vehicle to get something you wanted.
And when it all comes down to it... what is any of it? What is the value of all of those things... faith, words, works, sacrifice... what do those things mean - without love?
I am forever amazed how every single time I learn something (even if I've read the chapter twenty times before). Everyday I learn something new when I read the bible. I see something I hadn't noticed before, or somehow, life has opened my eyes to something different, and the words feel more applicable than ever.
A few weeks ago, the Verse of the Day was 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. It is a well known verse read at many weddings. Even a non bible reader can probably quote it.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; (ESV)The description of love that we find in Corinthians is the perfect kind of love. The one we all aspire to have and to give. It is significant to acknowledge such a perfect love in this sometimes unloving and unkind world.
But what struck me that day wasn't that verse at all, but the verses that precede it. The beginning of this chapter has widened my eyes to something I've never noticed before in the bible, but am now overwhelmed by.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13 1-3)I am not a theologist and I don't claim to fully understand the bible. I cannot say that I know exactly who or what Paul is speaking about when he wrote this passage (I can only assume it is the everlasting love of Jesus and the example he set for us). But I like to also think of it as a metaphor (the writer in me certainly appreciates his use of imagery here).
The point is made nonetheless.
We all know those people. The ones who speak the words from the bible so loudly that all you hear are words. The ones that seem to have everything you could ever want, the big house, the awesome job, the perfect family. The ones that appear to sacrifice their lives so much for the betterment of their family or their church. But what is it - what is any of it - without love?
Anyone can read the bible. Anyone can regurgitate the words that they were raised to believe. But if your intent does not come from a good and loving place - if you don't truly care for the person you are speaking to and attempting to guide - then how genuine are those words? No, they are dismissed (rightfully) as noise.
And what if you have everything that our society has deemed as important and good? No matter how hard you have worked for it - even if you stand in front of it and scream to the world that it all comes from God - it doesn't matter. Because what is the purpose of having those things if you are a slave to them? Do you know what the bible says and believe it with your heart? Do you have enough faith to remove mountains? Well, that is hard to believe if you can't share what you have with someone who needs it? Or give it all up and walk away from it all for love?
And what about giving it away? All of the things that you sacrifice. All of the time you have spent giving to others. If you keep a record of all of your good deeds, only to throw them in someone's face later - that is not a gift. That is not love. Those deeds were for you - a selfish attempt at following the rules. You will gain nothing from your good deeds if you are only to record them and use them later.
Someone recently told me, when speaking about someone who had wronged him, "She can justify all of her actions because she can stand behind them morally. She has never committed a sin. She has never broken a commandment."
Keeping the commandments - that is important. But let us not forget what Jesus says later.
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”So is she guilt free? As she reminds you of your wrongs and dangles the things you love over your head like a carrot... to get what she wants?
Jesus replied: “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:36 - 40)
I understand her perspective. I get it. I've lived it.
I understand that when you are in a relationship, you give, with hopes. Hopes that someone will give back what you have given them - you know, the golden rule.
One of my love languages is that I am a giver of service. I enjoy doing things for others. I find joy in keeping a clean house and making the person I love a cup of coffee and delivering it to him in bed. It comes from a good place and it gives me joy to do those things. I would never expect someone to do that for me in return. But if he did - if he was observant enough to pick up on how happy it makes me to have a tidy home or a morning cup of coffee, and chose to do those things for me, out of love - it would be such a significant gesture.
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| This is what it looks like when someone loves you enough to learn and do what makes you happy. For me-it was a clean apartment, a bottle of red, and some Ketosis friendly foods. |
Because love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.
No. Love is observant. Love is looking for a way to grow. It is always being willing to learn about the other. Love is honest because love will forgive all wrongs and look for better ways to give.
And love is everlasting. It does not die. If it does - it was never love at all.
It was something else.
It was a convenience or a vehicle to get something you wanted.
And when it all comes down to it... what is any of it? What is the value of all of those things... faith, words, works, sacrifice... what do those things mean - without love?
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