Writing with Intentions
I've found that writing is sometimes more effective than talking to a friend. Let me explain. When I'm talking to one of my best friends, I talk about my feelings and the issues I'm struggling with, ultimately looking for and receiving advice. But because I am who I am, sometimes I take the advice and sometimes I don't.
But when I write - when I'm sad or angry or whatever, and I force myself to sit and write - most times I find that I discover things about myself that I didn't even know, compelling myself to do something to change my situation.
My last post, for example, I noticed how physically lazy I'd become. So, I started to incorporate running back into my life. I also noticed that I was sad about the way I spent my evenings all alone and quiet. So, I had a lovely home cooked family dinner last night, with all of the issues and blessings that come along with that (my oven broke in the middle of cooking 40 clove garlic chicken and the girls definitely fought about who had to do the dishes). But I was happy. And it was fun. And after spending some quality time with some my favorite people (missing Logan), I fell asleep content (and early).
I will also add that there have been several times when I've been writing and I come to a conclusion that shocks me to a point where I have to stop writing. I have a post called "Mac & Cheese and Milkshakes." It starts out talking about my Ketosis diet but leads into the concept of temptation. The temptation part made me think about some of my own vices (other than Mac & Cheese and Milkshakes), and I couldn't continue writing. I literally had to stop writing (mid-sentence) to reflect on myself, my choices, and my actions.
Another recent post called "Chronic Sinning and Our Roles - Responsibility vs. Opportunity" went from a thought about a conversation I was having with a friend, to a very personal feeling that I have about some people that I was really having a hard time dealing with. I've since learned to accept the past for what it is. I guess, I didn't know I was angry about such things until I wrote them. And now that I know why I was so angry, it helps me to accept and move on - forgive and on longer hold that grudge that was taking up space in my own head and heart.
Maybe one day I'll post these - maybe one day in the future when I'm very far away from when/where I am right now. But the point is, the writing is what is helping me to realize my own feelings - things that I don't even know I am struggling with, until the words just slip off my fingers and onto the screen.
Healing is such a personal thing. Everyone does it in his or her own way and on his or her own timeline. Writing helps me. I don't mean to use this blog as a conduit to point fingers. I don't mean to do anything with this blog except use it as a vehicle to drive me through my own winding road of issues and emotions. If by chance, my words may help some others to deal with theirs along the way, that is simply a bonus - but not my intention.
But when I write - when I'm sad or angry or whatever, and I force myself to sit and write - most times I find that I discover things about myself that I didn't even know, compelling myself to do something to change my situation.
My last post, for example, I noticed how physically lazy I'd become. So, I started to incorporate running back into my life. I also noticed that I was sad about the way I spent my evenings all alone and quiet. So, I had a lovely home cooked family dinner last night, with all of the issues and blessings that come along with that (my oven broke in the middle of cooking 40 clove garlic chicken and the girls definitely fought about who had to do the dishes). But I was happy. And it was fun. And after spending some quality time with some my favorite people (missing Logan), I fell asleep content (and early).
I will also add that there have been several times when I've been writing and I come to a conclusion that shocks me to a point where I have to stop writing. I have a post called "Mac & Cheese and Milkshakes." It starts out talking about my Ketosis diet but leads into the concept of temptation. The temptation part made me think about some of my own vices (other than Mac & Cheese and Milkshakes), and I couldn't continue writing. I literally had to stop writing (mid-sentence) to reflect on myself, my choices, and my actions.
Another recent post called "Chronic Sinning and Our Roles - Responsibility vs. Opportunity" went from a thought about a conversation I was having with a friend, to a very personal feeling that I have about some people that I was really having a hard time dealing with. I've since learned to accept the past for what it is. I guess, I didn't know I was angry about such things until I wrote them. And now that I know why I was so angry, it helps me to accept and move on - forgive and on longer hold that grudge that was taking up space in my own head and heart.
Maybe one day I'll post these - maybe one day in the future when I'm very far away from when/where I am right now. But the point is, the writing is what is helping me to realize my own feelings - things that I don't even know I am struggling with, until the words just slip off my fingers and onto the screen.
Healing is such a personal thing. Everyone does it in his or her own way and on his or her own timeline. Writing helps me. I don't mean to use this blog as a conduit to point fingers. I don't mean to do anything with this blog except use it as a vehicle to drive me through my own winding road of issues and emotions. If by chance, my words may help some others to deal with theirs along the way, that is simply a bonus - but not my intention.
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