Ceci's Story
Written by Ceci Harding
On the night of October 8, 2017 my family and I sat around the coffee table playing The Game of Life. Little did we know at that same time, 87 miles away, the game of life that we knew was crashing off track.
I woke the next morning to the sound of my mother calling me and my siblings to breakfast. It was Columbus Day so we didn’t have school. I groaned and crawled out of my bed, tiredly walking down the stairs. We all sat at breakfast while my mom told us her plan for the day and asked what we were doing on our day off. Then, after finishing breakfast, my siblings and I went to our rooms to go back to sleep and my mom went to her boyfriend’s house.
It was less than 30 minutes later when I heard the front door open again. I was confused as to why my mom was back so quickly, and even more confused when I heard her yelling in a shaky voice, “Logan, Cecilia, Eve! Come here! Like – right here!”
I groaned again and took my time getting out of bed. While going down the stairs I gave my sister a puzzled look. When I got to the bottom I saw my mom’s face and I knew something was wrong. She looked at us and hesitantly said, “Your dad... was in a car accident last night… he’s dead.”
My face went blank. I just turned around and went back upstairs. I didn’t believe it. It felt like a dream. From downstairs I could hear as my mother instructed us to pack a bag. We were leaving immediately for St. Mary’s County. Not knowing what to pack – or for how many days, I just threw whatever I saw into a bag. I looked over in the corner of my desk and saw a picture of my dad.
I’m a very curious person and I always need all of the facts. So I picked up my phone and Googled “car accident in St. Mary’s County.” I pulled up the first article and started reading. I read it over and over and over again - every detail. My mind wandered to all of the things that he will miss. He’ll never get to see me graduate. He won’t get to move me into college. He’ll never get to walk me down the aisle.
And not only will he be missing these things, but I will too. I won’t have a dad to be there with me through these milestones. My heart completely shattered at that thought. I felt more empty and alone than I ever had before.
Over the next week I spent my days with my family. We went to the scene of the accident. We met with the other family involved. We went to the towing place to see what was left of his car. We went to the funeral home and planned his funeral. I was completely surrounded by my entire family. I wasn’t left alone for a single moment. Yet, I felt a loneliness that I’ve never experienced before.
Losing my father at 17 was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. For the first few days I was confused and I didn’t understand why. I didn’t believe that anything good could ever come out of this circumstance. It’s only been a few weeks since the accident. I still struggle to accept that anything good can ever come from this. But this experience has changed me as a person. And it has changed my perspective on life and how I want to live it.
I’ve learned from this that I don’t want to waste my life doing pointless things. I want to live every day to the fullest. No more waking each morning with a groan. Every day is an opportunity. And I am surrounded by people who love me.
I am stronger today than I was just a few weeks ago. I have a reason to fight for what I want and for what I believe in. I want to do something meaningful with my life. I want to do it for me, but mostly, I want to do it for him.
My dad was always proud of me and he was looking forward to me going off to college. He wanted me to do big things with my life and this – this tragedy – is a huge motivator for me to continue to make him proud.
I expect that In the future this experience will continue to help me to grow. It will prepare me for more unexpected things to come. And now I know that I can persevere. If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything.
On the night of October 8, 2017 my family and I sat around the coffee table playing The Game of Life. Little did we know at that same time, 87 miles away, the game of life that we knew was crashing off track.
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| Brian Michael Harding March 23, 1774 - October 8, 2017 |
It was less than 30 minutes later when I heard the front door open again. I was confused as to why my mom was back so quickly, and even more confused when I heard her yelling in a shaky voice, “Logan, Cecilia, Eve! Come here! Like – right here!”
I groaned again and took my time getting out of bed. While going down the stairs I gave my sister a puzzled look. When I got to the bottom I saw my mom’s face and I knew something was wrong. She looked at us and hesitantly said, “Your dad... was in a car accident last night… he’s dead.”
My face went blank. I just turned around and went back upstairs. I didn’t believe it. It felt like a dream. From downstairs I could hear as my mother instructed us to pack a bag. We were leaving immediately for St. Mary’s County. Not knowing what to pack – or for how many days, I just threw whatever I saw into a bag. I looked over in the corner of my desk and saw a picture of my dad.
I’m a very curious person and I always need all of the facts. So I picked up my phone and Googled “car accident in St. Mary’s County.” I pulled up the first article and started reading. I read it over and over and over again - every detail. My mind wandered to all of the things that he will miss. He’ll never get to see me graduate. He won’t get to move me into college. He’ll never get to walk me down the aisle.
And not only will he be missing these things, but I will too. I won’t have a dad to be there with me through these milestones. My heart completely shattered at that thought. I felt more empty and alone than I ever had before.
Over the next week I spent my days with my family. We went to the scene of the accident. We met with the other family involved. We went to the towing place to see what was left of his car. We went to the funeral home and planned his funeral. I was completely surrounded by my entire family. I wasn’t left alone for a single moment. Yet, I felt a loneliness that I’ve never experienced before.
Losing my father at 17 was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. For the first few days I was confused and I didn’t understand why. I didn’t believe that anything good could ever come out of this circumstance. It’s only been a few weeks since the accident. I still struggle to accept that anything good can ever come from this. But this experience has changed me as a person. And it has changed my perspective on life and how I want to live it.
I’ve learned from this that I don’t want to waste my life doing pointless things. I want to live every day to the fullest. No more waking each morning with a groan. Every day is an opportunity. And I am surrounded by people who love me.
I am stronger today than I was just a few weeks ago. I have a reason to fight for what I want and for what I believe in. I want to do something meaningful with my life. I want to do it for me, but mostly, I want to do it for him.
My dad was always proud of me and he was looking forward to me going off to college. He wanted me to do big things with my life and this – this tragedy – is a huge motivator for me to continue to make him proud.
I expect that In the future this experience will continue to help me to grow. It will prepare me for more unexpected things to come. And now I know that I can persevere. If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything.
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