Eventually. Occasionally. Always. Thankfully. Forever.

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Eventually the black marks will fade, the grass will grow over the tracks, and the stains will disappear. But that telephone pole will remain.

Occasionally the wreaths of flowers will be placed and replaced. Certainly a beer can will be left -maybe even a bottle of Jim Beam. But that telephone pole will remain.

Oddly it wasn't the point of impact. It wasn't where you were found. It just happens to be the place we gathered to light our candles and sing. Because that telephone pole will remain.

Sometimes we will visit and from where we live there are two ways in. I wonder how often we will choose to drive on that road. I wonder if we will feel the same. Will we gaze forward? Will we slow down? Will we gulp and hold back the tears?  I don't know if we'll avoid it or embrace it but I know we will never forget it. Because I know that telephone pole will remain.

I hate that telephone pole. I hate that it exists. I hate that it will always be there and it will always be what it is. It shouldn't have been a pole. It should have been something better. They deserved for it to be something better. They always deserved better. But they got a telephone pole. And that damned telephone pole will remain.

Always I promise to do my best. They will carry you around their necks and they will keep you on their mantels. They will place you with your grandparents and we will embrace each other as we remember you. Because you will always remain. 

Thankfully you gave them their eyes. You gave them their hair. You gave them your smile. You gave them your heart. And it is in their hearts - it is there that you will remain.

So fuck that telephone pole. Fuck that accident and that night. Fuck everything that had to do with your death. Because it is your life, your love, and your spirit that will remain. 

Forever it will be your jokes and your stupid conspiracy stories that we tell. It will be your voice that we hear when we listen to that song. And it will be your smile that we see - sometimes shifty like a cat and sometimes so genuine. So endearing. It is your soft, gentle, empathetic heart that we will remember. And it is your life that will remain. 

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